finally.

oh wow i <3 this pic. it gives me unprecedented mushy gooey feelings about the whole class.

this is super cute. stolen from hannahlois ng's lj!

Psalm 23 - Revised Students' Version

The LORD is my Shepherd, I shall not flunk
He keepeth me from lying down when I should be studying
He leadeth me beside the water cooler for a study break
He restoreth my faith in study guides
He leadeth me to better study habits
For my grades' sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of borderline grades
I will not have a nervous breakdown
For thou art with me
My prayers and my friends, they comfort me
Thou givest me the answer in moments of blankness
Thou anointest my head with understanding
My test paper runneth over with questions I recognise.
Surely passing grades and flying colours shall follow me
All the days of my examinations
And I shall not have to dwell in this school forever.

Amen! haha all down and 1 lit paper left. still not as excited and relieved as I could be..

gp down, the rest to go. haha im not liek crazily stressed anymore. its not that im prepared, nono, just in this peace-with-myself pseudo-meditative state thats slightly scary in itself.

my self-control sucks. in every sense, I swear. I make little 'promises' to myself to do/not do stuff but noo im just impulsive. i just ask to be disappointed everytime, what am I doing? i gotta work on that, sometime..

this is restored from a previous draft that i was bleagh-ing out when my comp died on me.
its been kinda fun learning a lot more about myself this yr. learning not to judge too harshly.. as i've done a lot before. no kidding, i mean a lot. cos there is always more than meets the eye (PC shoulda taught me that). learning to shut up, sometimes and listen more. I've learnt that no one is really indispensable. just when you think that hey, maybe a small part of the universe does revolve around me.. haha I learn the hard way everytime. i've learnt that it's impossible to have everything, as much as we like to envy/wonder at others who seem have it all. we all have our secrets. oh and that pride isnt necessarily a bad thing.. some types of pride anyway.. it keeps you going sometimes. and that it's sometimes much harder, and therefore more impressive and fulfilling, to stick to what you think and not copycat. oh and of course that friends are important. really important. goodness knows I would have like exploded without them. and I've learnt to be more discerning and know the real friends from well, others. yup.
short non-exhaustive summary of J1 moral education for me.

i dunno why i decided to belch this out all of a sudden. but yeah i cant believe half of my JC education has passed. as usual it feels unfairly quick. but then again, january seems so very long ago. and the changes since then have been well, nothing short of drastic, radical, whatever. i feel a lot older.

okay now that im done with that i should continue mugging. humbug. i need caffeine.

amusing stuff from career cruising... [i can get down to ambition-ing towards this if i survive the next week and next year or so]

1.	Politician
2.	Mediator
3.	Critic
4.	Human Resources Specialist
5.	Public Relations Specialist
6.	Actor (!)
7.	Director
8.	Judge
9.	Writer
10.	Communications Specialist
11.	Translator
12.	Winemaker (?!!!)
13.	Lobbyist
14.	Activist
15.	Public Policy Analyst
16.	Corporate / Commercial Lawyer
17.	Industrial-Organizational Psychologist
18.	Interpreter
19.	Casting Director
20.	Forensic Specialist

coolios. srsly.. winemaker?!

wait, did i say i was relaxed? oops that musta been my deluded poncy weekend alter-ego. i have A LOT left to do that dear miss poncy must have wonderfully overlooked.

12 more days zomg. i feel like im counting down to armageddon.

gah there's an insane bloodthirsty mosquito in my room. and i realise my sandfly bites from ages past still havent healed yet! *imagination runs wild* [die, michael, die]

weekend has been good yay. im not as stressed anymore. a bit more prepared. and a bit more relaxed, well yeah considering i still managed to go out. and watch quite a bit of tv. and slack around.

since im in this happy sorta mood..

after promos i shall:
1. catch up on all the movies i've missed
2. resume running and try to exorcise the flabs outta my tummy [products of midnight mugging binges]
3. dedicate october to gb post-sec saikang
4. watch flamenco performance!
5. look forward to india trip (partaying in bombay ftw yo)
6. look forward to potential gb trip
7. go out every dayyy
8. resume going to church. or various churches with pple. holy things for holy pple :)
9. be part of PROJECT PHOSPHOROUS!! hahah

zomg i cant wait.

ohhhmggg im stressed. no liek really. im not freaking out or hysterical but only cos i refuse to lose control. the only reason im not bursting and yelling around like a maniac now is cos im consciously willing myself not to. hah i wanna do something fun and reckless for no reason, right now.. just to break the monotony.

'but why?' you may ask..

1. i cant do AP GP
2. i cant do energetics
3. i cant fricking rmbr organisation and fricking control of fricking pro- and eu-karyotes and when i do i forget it all again within 48 short hours and am back to square-o one-o.
4. i ve hit an ALL TIME LOW LIT GRADE which i cant bring myself to say out loud. not here anyway. i might as well start failing the only subject i thought i could do without embarrassing myself
5. there is not even the slightest human possibility that i'll be able to finish mugging every damn thing and stop it all from plasmolysing out within the next one week
6. all this stuff i'm doing.. i'll prolly need abt hmm, 1% of it in my future career? yet somehow, something tells me i cant really afford to flunk my promos, though evidence thus far seem to be pointing me in that general direction.


and the next person who says anything along the lines of "aiyah but i thought you rj pple like to study a lot.." is gonna get a slap from me. i found that i kinda like learning stuff, reading and even essaying. and even math is becoming ok, generally. but not forcing stuff into my head.. i hate that.. sigh


oh but i gotta say, my friends are the coolest things that've ever happened to me. all of them <3

i'm a terrible and despicable girl. what is wrong wimme this year? i play around with pple and treat them liek, badly without them realising it.  the best thing i can say for myself right now is.. at least i feel bad doing these stupidstupid things. i need a time-turner. or an undo button. i'm sorry! does that help?

oh and my dignity and self-respect have just nose-dived as well. peace.

yesterday was good mugging progress yo. i declare that if the entire promos consisted of one summation&series paper and one ionic equilibria paper, i might do quite well. is that comforting? i never thought i'd say this, ever, but math is quite ok. hate to admit it but at least you kinda feel satisfied doing practice qns and seeing them done.

but predictably, today i'm relapsing again. nvm that i know that my friday-sunday are liek gone with the wind. im still playing with laptop and loitering off to youtube. i think im just allergic to bio. pfft. i need more specific transcription factors to up my rate of transcription. so far, food, facebook and msn have just been nasty repressors. blah im incoherent and babbling.

i keep thinking of the trillion other things i could be doing, besides mugging. everything (from parachuting to touring luxembourg to getting my own star on the hollywood walk of fame) seems like a pretty plausible idea right now. my imagination rocks. jc = :( i miss having a life. but still thankful for those who keep egging and prodding me on <3